I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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