he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
that is very illegal...i love you.
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