Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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