My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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