paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
