At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
