Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
