chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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