I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize