Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose

Fav 3 998 1370
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

only if we run a train.

(1-214): View more from Texas

done.

Fav 7 3700 901
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship

Fav 15 4089 2092
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

Fav 15 3534 1113
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(574): View more from Indiana

It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.

Fav 9 2596 1253
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.

(1-845): View more from New York

she is way to in-touch with her childhood

Fav 11 2548 1429
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Are you still goin to the xmas party?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Yaaaa why?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .

Fav 5 1908 1254
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

Fav 3 957 574
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.

Fav 3 16 37
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT