office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Randomize
