@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
