I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
