you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
