So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
