I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
