all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
