Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
