doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
