Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize