Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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