So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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