So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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