Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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