I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
