Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
