Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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