Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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