i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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