I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Barsexuality is the new black.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
