She is in my trunk
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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