Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
