If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
