Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
