If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
