My brain says no but my pants say off.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize