I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize