the condom got lost in my hair
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
