I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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