Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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