$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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