He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
