Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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