I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
