you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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