idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
