Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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