I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
