i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
