so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
