In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
