I wanna passion pit in your ass
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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