I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
