Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize