Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
