the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
