What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize