he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had to cum in my sink.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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