i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
